Becky's Writing Tips
I try to remember what I call grace editing. It's about the feelings of my reader: respect, warmth, clarity, empathy, that kind of thing. Basically caring about my reader. It can be as simple as using "my reader" rather than "the reader". Today I'm talking about writing in personal letters or informational writing (such as newsletters or lessons).
I just wrote an email to the manager who runs the home my daughter lives in. I re-read it and it was too formal. My writing without careful editing can be too strong. I've had teachers and such in the past take offense and feel threatened by me, even from short notes about homework . . . Well, any reader can be put off by an author's words, and subconsciously react negatively.
#1 I needed to use contractions (saying "I'll" instead of "I will", etc) in my email to the home manager. I use contractions as often as feels comfortable because it's more informal and personable. It's more like people actually talking together! Some words, without being made into contractions, sound too emphatic when speaking.
EXAMPLE: "Do not open up too much to strangers." is
more demanding than "Don't open up too much . . ." "I would not walk an untrained dog." is stronger than "I wouldn't walk . . ."
EXCEPTION: By "as feels comfortable", I mean some contractions just don't sound right in the sentence. "I will not describe it to you." sounds more stilted and adamant than "I won't describe it to you." But "If I'd have described . . ." sounds stilted also! "If I would have . . ." is more like people actually talk. The important thing is to make the reader comfortable with you, the writer.
#2 Avoiding the use of "you"/"yours"/etc. keeps the focus of writing comfortable for the reader. In my email to the manager, I was giving direct instructions. I was "telling" her how to shop with my daughter, saying "you" first do this, then "you" do that. Writing about something using the pronoun "you" can give an impression of "telling", rather than sharing with, your reader. It can even seem like you're judging his feelings or opinions. Since this home manager has expertise with disabilities, it could be insulting for me to give "directions" about how to help my daughter. She could think I found her expertise lacking or think I didn't expect her to USE her expertise. She could also think I considered her uncaring toward my daughter and the other women she is responsible for.
I went back and changed the email to say "I" first do this, then "I" do that. I shared an example of what has worked for me and my daughter instead of giving a step by step "lesson" to a person who doesn't need lessons from me! In less personal writing or to a much bigger audience you could use "a person"/"he"/"him"/"she"/etc. instead of "I"/"me"/"you"/"yours"/etc.
EXAMPLE: Let's say I'm writing about communication. The following implies the reader doesn't know better: "You get angry and lash out. If you don't get the response you'd like, you turn your back." A better way to say this would be, "When I (or "a person") feel(s) taken for granted, I'm ("he's") tempted to get angry and lash out. If I don't ("he doesn't") get the response I'd ("he'd") like, I ("he") might turn my ("his") back." This illustrates a principle instead of suggesting I, the writer, know better or do better than my reader.
EXCEPTION: If it doesn't make sense to use "I"/"me"/"mine"/etc, or if "the person"/"him"/etc is not specific enough or is too impersonal for a specific audience, I'll use "you"/"your"/etc. In my email I asked, "Did 'you' get the letter from . . ." In a post to my writing group I said, "I don't know if 'you' all know . . ." In my group it might be too impersonal to say, "I don't know if the members know . . ." ("the members" being the same sort of thing as "a person")
#3 The other thing I noticed when re-reading the email I wrote, was that I said "she" and "her" constantly instead of naming my daughter. I used her name in the first paragraph then just the pronouns after that. In person, it's a disrespectful habit to not use a person's name. In writing it isn't good language use and can become confusing.
A standard for Proper name vs. common noun is to always use the Proper name when re-introducing a character in a paragraph. And again to use that name after having used the pronouns approx. 3 times in a paragraph. Also the Proper name(s) should be used throughout when talking about more than one character in the same paragraph, especially if they are same gender.
EXAMPLE: "There was a steep hill in the back yard. Jared started running down this hill. He stumbled and fell. Now he was tumbling head over heels. He landed in the mud. Jared didn't mind the mud so much, it was hearing Adam's laughter! When he kicked at Adam things got worse . . ." It would be too confusing to say, "When he kicked at him things got worse . . ." Who kicked whom? If starting a new paragraph here, it would need to say "When Jared kicked at Adam . . ." Or, "When he kicked at Adam things got worse, until Jared . . ."
Having stated my "rules", I want to say that in writing, rules were made to be broken! If a writer knows good general standards, he can choose to deviate in order to express a style or idea. That's called "creative writing"!! Hey - I wrote this differently for my group post. I said, "If 'you' generally remember these standards, 'you' can choose to deviate in order to express a style or idea." It seemed to work better than "a writer"? Maybe because I know these people in a sense? Or is it just that there's a choice given? Or was I wrong? Or would it matter?
This stuff can get complicated . . .
just remember it's about caring for the reader. Grace editing prioritizes readers, not standards!
by Rebekah Wells
copyright 2008
